Tuesday, May 28, 2024

Not Alone: Encouragement for the Lonely Times


by Valerie Grande


This word had never really existed in my vocabulary until a couple of years ago. Growing up in a family of six children, I really never had the opportunity to be alone as often as some. In fact, I had no concept of the idea of having no one around me. I could not even imagine it.

For the first eighteen years of my life, I shared a room with one or two sisters. I then went to college where I shared a room with two or three roommates. I graduated from college in four years, moved back home, and once again shared a room with one of my sisters. I did end up getting my own room, but there were still three other siblings still at home. Hence, there was NO alone time. I became a teacher and was then surrounded by 15 to 20 children all day long! At that point, if I was alone, I was worried about what was happening in my absence!

Nobody wants to be alone all of the time.

I have to say that I could not comprehend when a girl or a guy were so lonely that they would make decisions that would leave me shaking my head. I could not understand how people could be so enveloped in their searches for companionship (whether it be friendships or marriage) that they would put aside their beliefs, convictions, and everything for which they ever stood.

However, there is something about being alone.

When alone, we may tend to do things that we never thought we would do. Maybe it is because there is no one there watching us, so we do not think anyone will be affected by our decisions. Maybe it is because that is when we are most vulnerable. There is no one to tell us NO, to back up our decisions, or to give us advice. We find ourselves totally on our own. Maybe it is because it gives us time to think. Sometimes it is A TON of time to think, which can possibly be even too much time to think.

The summer of 2014 brought about a change I was neither prepared for nor anticipating in the least. For the first time in my life, I found myself alone. It was during this time that God showed me I really was not alone and that it is in the moments when I feel most alone that He is even closer than ever.

I have definitely had other “alone” times. We do not always have to be physically alone to have that feeling. We could be surrounded by a group of our closest friends and feel alone; we could be in a dorm room with our roommates and feel alone; we could be at work and feel alone; or we could even be sitting in a church service surrounded by God’s people and feel alone. In each of my “alone” times, I have been blessed to have had godly leaders in my life who gave me wise advice and counsel. I strongly encourage each of us to go to a spiritual leader whom we trust and who we know will tell us the truth, backed by the Bible. The Bible even tells us in Proverbs 24:6 that …in multitude of counselors there is safety. Let it also be said that once we ask for their input, we must be prepared for whatever they say. We may not like it or agree with it, but it may be exactly what we need to hear.

While I do have people to whom I can go, I have found in my own life that those with whom I counsel cannot be with me all of the time, nor can they give me the peace and comfort for which I am looking. The same idea would apply even to those who are married. While a husband, to be sure, would be a rock and source of comfort in an “alone” time, not even he could provide the peace that is needed when life throws a curveball. When I am feeling utterly alone and helpless, only God can help me; He is all I need in the first place.

The following are different “alone times” in which I have found myself, and I am sure others can agree that they have been there also. Every time an “alone” time comes, God has been faithful to give me a verse and promises to claim right when I needed it.

When alone in relationships.

Psalm 142:4-5 – I looked on my right hand, and beheld, but there was no man that would know me: refuge failed me; no man cared for my soul. I cried unto thee, O Lord: I said, Thou art my refuge and my portion in the land of the living.

Proverbs 18:24 – A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.       

When alone while taking a stand. 

II Timothy 4:17 – Notwithstanding the Lord stood with me, and strengthened me;

When alone in decision making.

1 Peter 5:7 – Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.

II Chronicles 20:12 – …neither know we what to do: but our eyes are upon thee.

When alone concerning finances.

Philippians 4:19 – But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.

When alone in fear.

Psalm 46:1-2a – God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore will not we fear,…

Psalm 27:1, 5 – The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? For in the time of trouble he shall hide me in his pavilion: in the secret of his tabernacle shall he hide me; he shall set me up upon a rock.

When alone in faith. 

Deuteronomy 33:25b – …and as thy days, so shall thy strength be.

Ephesians 3:20 – Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us,

Psalm 27:13-14 – I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD.

When alone in “drought” times. 

Jeremiah 17:7-8 – Blessed is the man that trusteth in the LORD, and whose hope the LORD is. For he shall be as a tree planted by the waters, and that spreadeth out her roots by the river, and shall not see when heat cometh, but her leaf shall be green; and shall not be careful in the year of drought, neither shall cease from yielding fruit.

When alone in service.

Ephesians 6:6-7 – Not with eyeservice, as menpleasers; but as the servants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart; With good will doing service, as to the Lord, and not to men:

When alone with thoughts.

II Corinthians 10:5 – Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;

When we do not have control over our thoughts, Satan can start telling us whatever he wants. Being emotional women, we can easily believe him. I have learned that I MUST control the things about which I think; otherwise, I will find myself blowing a situation out of proportion and making conclusions without hearing all of the facts.

After reading just one of these verses, I am always reminded of a very simple, yet profound truth: To begin with, I was never alone. That is incredible!

Because I am saved and a child of the King, He has been and always will be with me every step of the way. I allowed myself to feel alone needlessly when I allowed Satan to enter into my thought life and cloud my thinking.

In conclusion, the next time we face an “alone” time, we must stop and take a timeout! We must open the Bible and claim one of these verses or find another applicable promise to claim. We must remind ourselves of the God Who loves us and is there with us, always!

We are not alone, and we never will be!

Hebrews 13:5 – …I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.

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